Best beloveds,
In recent times, I have found myself coming up short against people who, when it is gently pointed out to them that the world is fatphobic and that fatphobia is messing them up, turn around and say, “Yeah, sure, but come on, someone who weighs 200kg cannot be healthy, and they really need to do something to get better.”
This is the point where I need to take several deep breaths, unclench my fists, force my face into a smile and start pushing. Because these are not bigoted people. These are thoughtful, highly educated, frequently critical thinking, anti-race, anti-caste feminists. And still, they find it so hard to question the idea that if someone is fat, “really fat,” it’s their own fault, and really boils down to their inability to control themselves. The person who is careful to use gender-neutral pronouns and never assume someone’s marital status or the gender of their partner, finds it easy to look at someone and make giant assumptions about their medical past and present, their life choices, their ability to work, and their willpower.
This is the kind of stuff that really reveals how deeply fatphobia is embedded in us. It’s almost masochistic sometimes, the way we want to use it as a stick to beat ourselves with. We are trying to undo 30 years of diet culture and associated eating patterns and our bodies’ reacting to them, and yet we want it to improve in one year? But, even more importantly, even if somebody else wants to live their life making truly terrible choices, why do we think we are allowed to meddle? Do we break up that friend with the abusive partner? Do we harangue and shame the sibling with a truly awful job they hate that is destroying their mental health, and their physical health? Do we chase that cousin to walk away from their toxic parents? And let’s not even get started on drinking, smoking, and coffee.
So what is it about fatness that triggers people so much and makes them so unwilling to be openminded? Y’all have thoughts? Cos I got nothing.
Not a lot in the way of news this week, alas. Both Pallavi and I had new clothes to show off; and we made a reel to be gooey about the two years we’ve been friends now. She also had much fun making a reel that personified her demons, and I derived much entertainment from practising my death glare for another one. All the things I found to read this week on fatness are not worthy of sharing, so no links for you today! I do have a show recommendation though: I’ve been binge-watching Chicago Fire on Netflix, so much so that it has become part of my dreams. I’m not complaining…
Be still my throbbing ladybits!
That’s all for now :) Go on and share our YouTube channel so we can get up to 100 subscribers? Please?
love,
Ameya (& Pallavi)