Poster? Imposter? Shitposter?
In which we talk of how harshly we judge ourselves, and share a blog post, a reel and a lovely personal essay
Best beloveds,
This morning I got a link to a piece by someone I knew in college and turns out he’s now India director of a Very Important Think Tank. Which kinds makes sense because he’s 40 and smart and clearly did well for himself. But the thing is, even though I don’t really want to head a think tank (or I would have, you know, gotten a PhD), every time I find out something amazing that people I went to school and college with are doing, I feel so useless and wasted. And then of course my brain asserts control over my conditioning and I remind myself that I am all kinds of awesome and my life is good and I am happy. But. Apparently this response of putting myself down is hardwired into me.
Any guesses where it came from? There’s a hint in this reel.
This is clearly a theme with me recently, because I ended up writing a blog post about how much fat phobia taught me to never trust myself, a lesson I painfully and slowly unlearned over years of therapy and ageing. One silver lining: all this shit gets easier as you get older because you just have fewer fucks to give.
While we’re on the subject, please read this beautiful essay by Aubrey Gordon in Vox:
This is among the greatest triumphs of anti-fatness: It stops us before we start. Its greatest victory isn’t diet industry sales or lives postponed just until I lose a few more pounds. It’s the belief that our bodies make us so worthless that we aren’t deserving of love, or even touch.
I cannot tell you how much I related to it. It made me want to cry because we are busy destroying people before they can even become people in their own right.
Well clearly it was a low production week chez Fat. So? last week, so that’s all I have for you! Except, of course, a little reminder to urge your friends to sign up for the newsletter, listen to the podcast, watch the videos… you know the drill :)
I remain,
Yours battling fatphobia,
Ameya (& Pallavi)
Lots of love and compassion to you Ameya and also to Pallavi. This is not easy work you are doing...and I appreciate your openness and vulnerability. You (we) have a right to exist, love, experience joy, and BE loved!
Fat people suck like you two. You fat people sit around on your chairs every day eating McDonald’s until you make a fart so big it makes the world explode . You do nothing but eat and complain “ my body is beautiful “ but it is not! Obesity Is a choice! You chose to eat so much. You chose to be lazy. All fat people are lazy and dumb. Fat people have large thick thighs, with large shoulders made of fleshy adipose. So are fat people cool? You fatsos are truly lazy and fat. Obesity is not be proud of. You two claim that you are cute and “ big” but you don’t understand.
Do you have to shop in the fat people section? Does your clothes day size 92738? So you fatsoes need to stay in your fat body. You ant to eat? You want some McDonald’s? Do you eat 19 meals per day.you do. You suck because you are obese and fat. You will never be worthy. You will never be as great as the petite population and us slender people. We don’t need a seat belt extender. We don’t shop in plus size section. And we have good brains. Fat girl fat girl fat girl. Want some McDonald’s? Want your platter of food that can feed an entire cafeteria of children? Skinny people are better than obese people. We should be calling you fat dumbbells. All you do is eat and cry and wish you were skinny. You need to lose like 917 pounds of your oversized body fa. You are fat and stupid because you chose to eat so much and gain so much weight. I am a doctor who has a degree. I have had fat patients and I have not told them the same thing because most of the people that come to me have just a little fat, but some of them are fat, heavy and stupid like the heaviest fatso and dummy ti run a marathon. By fat dummies!