Winter triggered fat phobia

On fat liberation being a journey, and other news

Hello lovely people,

And boy is it cold already?! Honestly I love it! It’s just at the beginning I need to remember all the little tips and tricks that I master by the end of winter to stay warm. The other thing is a new house, so a few new rules. Ameya’s cats are helping significantly, they love to snuggle in winter and I am taking complete advantage while she isn’t here. 

Season changes means changes in my body whether it is hunger or sleeping patterns or allergies or aches and pains. And while they have triggered me much less this year, fat phobia is still a bitch y’all. The good news is I seem to have found a doctor who hasn’t once asked me my weight. And in other good news a physiotherapist who actually validated that fat people can be fit. The ache I developed in my knee a little earlier this year is actually better without any medication or other intervention, except moving it and strengthening it. 

I took a bunch of tests earlier this week and while some levels are a bit here and there, haemoglobin, Vit D types, most everything else is clear. And yet the slightly higher cholesterol and sugar levels made me go into a tizzy for a couple of days. Telling myself I need to gear up on my intermittent fasting protocol, I need to stop eating this and doing that and all that old diet and restriction based shit. The result : my hunger levels have gone through the roof with a craving for cheesy and sweet stuff, separately, not together. 

Stress reaction much? Yep, that’s fat phobia at work. The only difference is I know what’s going on, I know this is a conditioned response and I know I need to love my body back to feeling safe with me again. I will go to a doctor and I will discuss my tests, but I will also treat my body with love and respect and listen to what it wants. And I know without a doubt that just like everytime before this, she will heal and feel good. 

Which is why I made the reel with this newsletter, do check it out. And also this carousel, for anyone who wants to check in on whether or not they are on the path to fat liberation. Because it is a journey and there’s no rushing it :)

Also Ameya wore this gorgeous velvet dress and is letting you know that it’s OK not to be OK. Same color but feeling nostalgic about summer, I’m modelling a cute halter dress top for you guys. 

Last but not the least, we were invited to address a group of colleagues from across the world as part of the diversity and inclusion practice in an organization. We were in tears, y’all, I think for me the most poignant was those who said they weren’t even aware of the things fat people faced. And the question about how can thin people be allies… (sniffle).

I will leave you with this! See you around!

Love and hugs, 

Pallavi (& Ameya)